Friday, January 9, 2015

Blooming Together

tag: courageWhen we are faced with a very difficult situation we have a choice: we can either be resentful, and try to find somebody or something to blame for the hardships, or we can face the challenge and grow.

The flower shows us the way, as its passion for life leads it out of the darkness and into the light. There is no point fighting against the challenges of life, or trying to avoid or deny them. They are there, and if the seed is to become the flower we must go through them. Be courageous enough to grow into the flower you are meant to be.

I drew this card (Osho Zen Tarot) a week or so ago, while contemplating motherhood and my experience with it thus far. And its message has stuck with me, holding wisdom I could benefit to have as a daily (or more) reminder. I hadn't thought about courage in this manner, but when I do, I feel parenting requires much courage. I've been blessed with magic moments filled with a love and joy I've never experienced prior to Kavi coming into my life. And I've smacked up against complex swirls of unpleasant thoughts and emotions I've also never thought/felt/imagined before becoming a mom. Teething, hourly nighttime wake-ups, sudden unrelenting neediness of mama, repeated nipple biting, refusal to having clothes put on and persistent screaming when in the carseat...all situations that have arisen in the past couple months that have had me cringe, cry, and/or curse! And I'm so grateful for all the supportive mamas and papas in my life, on the ready with empathy, calming words, and potential solutions. To witness their varied models of courage offers me hope, strength and renewed resolve. But the one I am most grateful for is Kavi. Though it may be unintentional, this powerful little man is continuously calling me out. Inviting me to learn, expand, evolve. In many ways I feel I've been a great mama thus far. And in many ways I can see, hear, smell, taste and feel how much room there is for growth. May I continue to find the courage to choose the path that leads to growth. For myself, as a model to my son, for the health of my family, and as an offering to the world.
And now for a little update on the lil lord! It hardly seems possible. Kavi is 7.5 months old!! My intention was to write a blog each month around his birthday to keep track of all his new magic. Two months have passed since last I wrote, so there have been many changes and developments.

Our little fam has been busy these past weeks, often on the move. Work projects and holidays have
had us on the road more than we've been at home. And they have been some fun adventures!Work projects have had us on many beaches from Half Moon Bay to Fort Bragg. All the work travel has been a mix. While Kavi is not so fond of car rides, he does love checking out new places and is happiest outdoors. He can entertain himself ongoing just sitting on the beach, sifting sand through his tiny fingers, with the occasional handful finding its way to his mouth. He has now tasted the sands of at least a dozen beaches! 

He has also been exploring more of the world of solid food. Now that he has 5 teeth (!), he is really loving trying new things: persimmon, rice cereal, kabocha squash, eggs, broccoli. His other big developments are the mastering of crawling (oh he is fast now!) and standing up (every chance he gets). He has also been making lots of fun sounds, new facial expressions (like a smile while scruching his nose), playing with his tongue, and what I like to call singing. He lets out a big squeal and often if you repeat it, he'll do it again (with a big smile) and again and again. Sometimes going up an octave, sometimes down. From a wild banshee sound, to a soft, guttural growl. It's pretty fun to play his games! And to watch his sense of humor blossoming.

On the more challenging front, he has also learned how to throw a little fit when something displeases him: not allowing him to savor some yummy thing he's scavenged off the ground, changing his diaper, not changing his diaper, pulling the ol' switcharoo with one of his toys to get your charger or electronic device, etc etc. He is still mostly a very happy guy, one who's learning to explore and express his boundaries! And through his explorations, I learn more about my own boundaries. How to express them, how to ask for support and how to shift my perspective and find appreciation in what is (even if totally sleep deprived...oy, that's tough for me!).  And with that, I will say good night and go to bed.

P.S. There are lots of new videos posted here. I love this one (start at 45sec). And some new pics here. Enjoy!

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